I began “summer” by eagerly looking at my flower beds every day. All the little plants were so healthy and so happy. I just knew they were incredibly grateful to me for planting them, watering them, nurturing and taking such good care of them (except for that tiny little spill off the shelves, a long, long time ago) that they couldn’t wait to shower me with extravagant numbers of big, beautiful blooms. Huh. Well, it turns out that they weren’t all that grateful. In point of fact, they were a little miffed at me for removing them from the lovely warm greenhouse and tossing (!) them into the cold, cold ground; in the middle of May, no less. To their way of thinking, I’d left them completely exposed to the elements, which included hail AND a most annoying dog. So, they’ve been sulking … and putting down roots.
After weeks (at least two) of daily inspections for blooms I gave up and turned to working on other projects, like sewing … and cooking … and cleaning house. As the days went by, I would go out every other day or so to make sure they had enough water and there were no weeds, but they stubbornly refused to offer any sign of blooming. Kaleb and Brittany’s wedding is fast approaching – I had to face that while there might be good foliage, there just weren’t going to be many blooms. So I made peace with myself and with the plants. And wouldn’t you know it, they’ve suddenly started putting out indications that they just might bloom. The nasturtiums are loaded with budding stems, all hidden in amongst the leaves. The calendulas and ‘Music Box’ sunflowers have buds, the peonies are cracking open, oh, so, slowly. Even the scarlet runner beans are showing signs of blooming. So I’ve abandoned my Eeyore-like predictions and am back to daily checking for color. There is no doubt that the peak color will come later in July – but I’m SO happy to have some color showing up for the wedding. Brittany keeps reassuring me that she’s not a flower person, she’s happy with what she sees. “Uh, huh, uh, huh,” I answer. The truth is, though I want it beautiful for Kaleb and Brittany, AND I want it beautiful for me, too. I’m defining beautiful as loaded with colorful blooms.
Hmm, maybe I should think back to mid-May when I was so very enamored with the green bursting out of the ground and branch tips. Maybe I should remember that green is the color of LIFE. Maybe I should learn to be content with what I have, and enjoy the process of growth. Ooo, ouch “be content”, “enjoy the process”. Sigh. One really learns so much about oneself in the garden, wouldn’t you agree? I’m a collector – a collector of experiences and of things. I’m also extremely goal oriented. Maybe you could say I’m a collector of achieved goals. These attributes are not bad; my problem is that I don’t enjoy the process, nor do I particularly enjoy the goal beyond the momentary “DONE!” I’m always grasping for more, trying to get to the “I’ve made my goal, it’s done,” portion. But there’s ALWAYS more to get, more to finish, more to learn, more to do. Whew. I’m feeling the admonition from the Apostle Paul, “Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment…” So, here I am practicing contentment. …
Oh, wait, is that a goal?